Writing a Eulogy | Bridgman Funeral Home

How to Write a Eulogy

You do not have to be a brilliant writer to prepare or deliver a heartfelt and meaningful eulogy. The best eulogies are often brief, while capturing the essence of the deceased. If you find yourself having difficulties getting started, we have compiled list of helpful tips to guide you through the process and help you figure out how to write a eulogy.

Decide on the Tone

Some people may decide to take a more serious approach while others may choose to add humor. Remember a eulogy does not have to be somber, just appropriate. If used cautiously, humor can help illustrate some of the endearing qualities of the deceased.

Consider your Audience

Keep in mind you are writing a eulogy for the family and friends of the deceased. Be sure to avoid speaking negatively about their loved one. Instead, focused on the positive highlights of their life and remain to be truthful and honest. Try not to offend, shock, or confuse the audience.

For example, do not make any jokes or comments about the deceased that would be a mystery to the attendees.

Introduce Yourself

If you are a relative of the deceased, in a few words describe how; if not, inform the audience of how you met. It is important to introduce yourself even if you know most people in the audience.

State Basic Information About the Deceased

Give all the information about the life of the deceased. This should include a few key points about achievements throughout his or her life, memories shared with friends and family, and what hobbies and interests matter most to them. You may want to make note of names that you decide to mention in the eulogy you are writing for the big day because you might become overwhelmed by sadness that could lead to you forgetting names you have chosen to mention.

Be well Organized and Concise

Before you start writing the eulogy, start brainstorming and outline all possible areas such as personality traits, interests, and biographical information. Once the creativity begins to flow, make sure to write all your ideas down. When you begin to write your eulogy, give it a beginning, middle, and end. The average eulogy should be about 3-5 minutes in length, so try to refrain from rambling on.

Get Feedback

Once you are confident and have finished writing the eulogy, have some close family or friends read it over to make sure it is accurate, reader friendly, and captures the essence of the deceased. You may also want to practice reading it in front of family or friends just to prepare yourself in case you are not comfortable with public speaking.

Delivering a Eulogy

Unless you're a seasoned public speaker, delivering a eulogy can be a scary, emotionally-trying time. It is recommended that you:

Take your time with the delivery.
Breathe deeply.
Stay relaxed.
Take regular sips of water.

If you have any doubts about your ability to perform in front of an audience, consider appointing a back-up person to fill in for you. Or, you may ask someone else to take over the duty of reading the eulogy aloud on your behalf.

"Giving a eulogy is good for you," says author, Tom Chiarella. "It may hurt to write it. And reading it? For some, that's the worst part. The world might spin a little, and everything familiar to you might fade for a few minutes. But remember, remind yourself as you stand there, you are the lucky one. And that's not because you aren't dead. You were selected. You get to stand, face the group, the family, the world, and add it up. You're being asked to do something at the very moment when nothing can be done. You get the last word in the attempt to define the outlines of a life."